Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Apocalypto

In short: You can see this movie

This is the problem with teasers nowadays. They make you think that you are going to be undressed, washed with milk, massaged, perfumed and moved to a hot bed with a hot woman, all for free. I don’t want to see any more previews. I swore. They are becoming everyday better and better in making advertising clips that surpass the long movie.

To come back at our Apocalypto:

1. Mel Gibson: I expect more of you, much more.
Just another Hollywood recipe. Passion of Christ had in the Bible a way better script. It seems I have seen this movie before: a pair with a kid, the father a good family guy, the mother waiting for another baby. The guy has to abandon his wife to save the village, the country or something else. After he kills almost every opponent, he returns just in time to save his wife and kids from a house in fire. A Bruce Willis movie and soon it should be a sequel. And a videogame too.


2. Maya part
This part was the big disappointment. About the precolumbian cultures we know from some book or more recently from wikipedia. It is common knowledge that they were very advanced and not the kind of savages portrayed in this movie. I think we lost a very good opportunity of recreating a very interesting environment. The Mayans had a prolific knowledge of astronomy and were able to calculate solar and lunar eclipse dates over thousands of years. So, a solar eclipse would not have been a surprise for anyone.

The only good part is the language thing, which I can’t check for correctness, but I just love characters that don’t speak native English in Amazon. :)

3. The point?
Right on the beginning the narrator says that a civilization doesn’t die on attacks from outside if is not rotten from inside. This could be the point of the movie? Excusing the "Conquista" ? This isn’t a Spanish movie. I really don’t get to the point of this movie or some comments/parts of it; like the final scene with the conquistadors coming. What’s that has to do with a love story???

4. Prizes

This movie is nominated everywhere for a lot of things but I propose 2 more prizes for it:
1. Best GREEN movie of the year, for not having more than 2 colour variations in 2 hours of cinema. I called them the white sequence and the blue sequence and you will understand why.
2. Best Running movie since Forrest Gump. This is a movie about running and if you are an athlete it will be a feast.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

... Deliverance taught me hillbillies are weird rapist who get a kick out of pigs.

... Trainspotting taught me Scottish are heroin-addicts.

... Midnight Express taught me Turks are EVIL.

... Battle Royale taught me that kids in Japan wants to kill each other.

... American Psycho taught me that brokers are mad.